![]() ![]() There is more about this in our page on Transactional Analysis. ![]() To help them, you will have to ‘hook’ their Child with sympathy, then find a way to engage the Adult. This makes them turn inward, and want to avoid anything that might be threatening, like other ideas. Transactional analysis offers some clues about how to do this, suggesting that they may be in ‘Child’ mode. Self-protective listeners may need help to break out of their ‘vicious spiral’. The only way out is to break the spiral (see box). These listeners often simply repeat their negative stories over and over again-and with increasing levels of negative emotion. However, when they come to respond, it will be obvious that they have not really heard or taken on board anything that is said. It is a moot point whether this should actually be described as ‘listening’ at all-except that these listeners will often be nodding and smiling, and generally looking like they are engaging with what is being said. In other words, they are NOT really listening at all, and they are certainly not engaging with what anyone else says. Here, the listener is so wrapped up in their own situation and/or emotional response to it that they simply have no brain-space to hear or concentrate on anything else. Engaging with an assumptive listener is hard work, because you constantly have to go back and explain your meaning again because they have interpreted it incorrectly. They may therefore finish other people’s sentences, or jump in with a response before the speaker has really finished. Assumptive listeningĪssumptive listeners make assumptions about the speaker’s meaning or intention-and usually before the speaker has finished. Instead of building on each other’s communication, they are engaged in knocking it down. The other problem is that speaker and listener can get into a negative spiral of argument and counter-argument. This means that they often miss critical information simply because it does not fit with their view of the world. Everything is passed through a prism of their own experiences and opinions. The big problem with these listeners is that they are hearing everything from their own point of view. You can spot an evaluative listener, because they will always respond with either agreement or disagreement (or possibly both, in the form of ‘yes, but…’). Evaluative listeningĮvaluative listeners spend all their time evaluating what you are saying, and making judgements about it. John Stoker, an author and communications teachers, has identified seven different types. However, we can also identify some particular categories of ineffective listening. ![]() However, there are many, many different ways to listen ineffectively, and a huge number of barriers that may prevent or hinder listening. Our page on Effective Listening provides a model that is generally applicable to most situations. Just like happiness (or happy families), effective listening is fairly easy to describe. Types of Ineffective ListeningĪll happy families are alike every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. It will help you to learn to listen more effectively, and therefore to improve the quality of your professional and personal life. It also examines some of the barriers and bad habits of listening, enabling you to address and correct them. ![]() This page describes types of ineffective listening. This ineffective listening leads to misunderstandings and a breakdown in communication. Instead of giving the speaker our full attention, we may be formulating a reply, or making a judgement about what they are saying, or even being distracted by what we’re going to have for dinner. This means that about three-quarters of spoken communication is lost on the average person. Research shows that we generally only listen with about 25% efficiency. Unfortunately, the sad truth is that most of us overestimate our abilities in this area. In other words, we believe that we hear what someone is saying and are able to take it in and interpret it correctly, before responding appropriately. Most of us would like to think that we are good listeners. Personal and Romantic Relationship Skills.Conflict Resolution and Mediation Skills.Non-Verbal Communication: Face and Voice.Tips for Effective Interpersonal Communication. ![]()
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